Suspicions confirmed

Yesterday morning child no. 1 (C1) received a series of texts from MC - suffice to say these texts were suggesting meeting on a weekend that wasn't their weekend. Upon my offer of a cooked breakfast C1 came into the kitchen to say that MC had invited him for breakfast in the local cafe. Suspicions of intuition confirmed!! What followed was a stomach churning moment of complete nausea when I thought I was going to empty the contents of my stomach on the kitchen floor!! Subtle waves of panic, all too familiar, rocked me .... OMG this can't be happening again ....

With the benefit of experience, I calmed myself, confirmed with my other half (lets call him WD) that my suspicions were founded, showed him the said texts, whereupon he expressed his disbelief at the subtle manipulation that MC had tried to use - this wasn't new to me, in fact, it just brought back all those old feelings again which always end in ... I can't go through this again ...

I resolved the matter by tentatively explaining to C1 what was going on (very lose explanation might I add) and just asked that he trust me in this one. So he did and I dictated the last text to him ..... SEND .... REPLY .... the offer of breakfast was withdrawn ..... Round 2 to me!

For anyone reading this I'm sure you're thinking paranoia is the order of the day on my part, what crap am I sprouting about intuition, however, you really would have had to live through that period in my life to understand that this time, I will be ahead of the game! (does that sound paranoid or what!!!!!)

Paranoia .. or not

Lunch with my BF (best friend) yesterday was two fold (1) to see how she was - she hasn't been in great form so I reckoned a laugh and a pondering on life would cheer her up (2) to discuss my latest paranoia!! (this was definitely guaranteed to focus her mind on things other than her "not so happy" state!).

After talk of her "happiness state" (or lack of it) I took the opportunity to voice my recent paranoia. After listening intently as I finished with "I know I'm probably being paranoid but ..." she cut me short by confounding my fears "you've been here before", she said, "and your intuition was right then" .... "so chances are you're probably right now!".

Intuition ... such an indepth word ... lots of people don't believe in intuition but I hold my hand up to being one of those people who do. I get what others would call a gut feeling about people, things, events, happenings and I'm never wrong. So needless to say when I get that "gut" feeling again about my ex's other half (lets call her MC)and her not so stable state of mind, I can't just ignore it, so I consult with my BF to see whether she thinks my thoughts are founded or boardering on paranoia .. again. And as above she thinks my intuition is right - MC's at it again - her use of manipulation to meet her own ends, still manages to astound me, whilst at the same time causes that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just can't go there again ...

So the advise from my BF is, be aware, watch and pull rank, afterall you are the mother, the first wife, and you now have the hindsight of experience behind you - in other words ... play her at her own game? Only problem with that is i'm not very good at playing games .. never was .. which is why I lost the first one ..

Round 2 .. here we come ...