My gorgeous girl

Isn't it funny how we take our children for granted. With all our busy lives its easy to forget the joy that just their presence in our lives can bring! I'd be the first to hold up my hand and say that this whole "maternal" thing doesn't consume my every waking hour as it seems to do some of my friends. My children are a part of my life, not my whole life, and sometimes I admit they can fade into the background, busy with their friends doing their own things. Last week though I had a little reminder of just how prescious they are and just how much they add to my life.

The week before last my daughter went into hospital to get her tonsils out. Routine operation by all accounts and a day procedure so by 5.15 pm on the same day we were in the car heading home. As her Dad lives in a different house we agreed prior to her going into hospital that we would share the aftercare so that she could be at home (home in her life is defined by 2 houses!) for all of her recovery and not "shipped out" to friends, child minders etc (the absence of family assistance is due to my family living too far away). So, I took the first rota of the Wed, Thur and Friday. She was due to go to her Dad's on the fri night for the weekend with her brother as normal but we said we would play this by ear depending on how she was feeling. Friday evening came around and she said she was well enough to go. Remarkable recovery up to this point by the way, we were all slightly taken aback. On reflection, I have no idea why I was taken aback - as a general rule she's a "well" child, rarely sick and a fighter, therefore was bound to bounce back fairly sharply (we mustn't forget she also falls into the category of "girl, female, would be woman", which defines her from the outset as strong and a fighter!). I digress. Saturday morning dawns minus sick child and brother and a terrible emptiness. I had enjoyed by time of "carer" and "full time mammy" and suddenly I was not required! Never mind the constant worry that Dad and MC were not going to follow the rota and dispense the medication at the right time (they are quite capable people, I'm just a control freak!!). Anyway, Sunday evening I called to collect her brother and was brought in (1st time in 3 years!) to see my daughter and given tea! Quite a surreal 15 mins (that was as long as I could endure). Satisfied that she was doing well, we left. Monday dawned, I missed her so when my son said he needed to call to his dad's to collect his phone charger I jumped at the opportunity to see my little girl. Off we go, 10 mins was enough to assure me she was ok. 10 mins was enough for her to sit on my knee and be assured I was still around. Tuesday morning dawned not so great. She had been in pain all mon night and MC was bringing her to the doc. It transpires she had an ear infection on top of the throat and was in terrible pain with her ears. By Tuesday evening I was worried sick and just wanted her home to look after her myself. By Tuesday night I got a phone call from a crying child "Mummy please come and see me" .. so I did ... and we sat on their couch, her in my arms for an hour ... she just wanted her mammy and MC recognised this and gave me my place, maybe she's not quite as looney as I thought .........

Wednesday dawned bright with me in high spirits because my gorgeous girl was coming home to me. I even sent a text and asked could she come home earlier ... MC also obliged me on this request so by 7.10 pm I was at their door collecting both children. We're in the car 2 mins and this voice comes from the back (she sounds different now without those 2 HUGE tonsils in her throat) "I missed you mummy" ... "I missed you too darling", I said, I cried (I always cry when emotional!).

Home we go and she bounces out of the car and into my arms ... so there we stood, mummy and gorgeous girl, in the drive, holding onto each other for dear life ... crying,, I missed you, I missed you too, .. I love you, I love you too ... over and over again ............. this one "maternal moment" made up for all those hundreds of others I never have and sometimes secretly wish I did ... maybe I'm not such a freak after all where my maternal instincts are concerned, maybe I'm just fortunate that life goes on and the "drama" regarding my kids is about things I can do something about, because they're always here for me to help or just listen or just hug when required, maybe I should be thankful that those "overwhelming" feelings of last week only come every now and again .... maybe I'm the lucky one.